1. I want to have your babies and eat them too!

    • They would surely be a rich source of vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates and essential fats.

      But I think it’d be cheaper to just by groceries, and less frowned upon by society.

      • Dennis
      • January 5th, 2011

      Dude, you should check out Johnathan Swift’s publications

    • Konfacela
    • January 5th, 2011

    Where’s the fucking Facebook Like button when you need it. Fuck.

    • I can’t figure out how to get the thing to play nice with wordpress.com 😦

      Wait, I’m just an idiot. There we go.

  2. I really, REALLY need to figure out how to use the phrase “harden-the-fuck-up pie” in a meeting at work.

    Thanks for the great site!

  3. You are totally my hero. I seriously cannot stop laughing. πŸ™‚

  4. The two phrases I shall take with me, and use proudly, are “sweet magic tampon” and “holy steaming shitcastles.”

    Thank you for this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  5. I bet I could take that little round grey bitch.

    With my fucking vaccinations. (Seriously, best delivery system ever. Although you shouldn’t ask about the adjuvant.)

    • Tae
    • January 5th, 2011

    Keep going, that stuff is hilarious πŸ˜€

    • I wanted to thank you again for that amaizng web-site you have built here. It’s full of useful tips for those who are genuinely interested in this particular subject, specifically this very post. Your all actually sweet and thoughtful of others and also reading the blog posts is a good delight in my opinion. And exactly what a generous present! Mary and I usually have pleasure making use of your points in what we should instead do in the near future. Our collection of ideas is a distance long and simply put tips is going to be put to excellent use.

  6. Holy Fucking shit! My ass was just got done shitting up shit from having the shit kicked out of it by science!

    • I’d get that looked at. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure asses should fire shit down, not up … regardless of whether said shit is ejected via kicks or more traditional means.

  7. I fucking love blog πŸ™‚
    Well, I probably just should not read it before a conference or lab meeting, to avoid using “fucking” “shit” and other good words and sentences that you use πŸ™‚

    • If you do swear by accident, just stare them down and tell them to get back to work. AFTER they’ve made you a coffee.

      • This is often a extremely inlcidebre powerful useful resource that you’re supplying and also you simply supply it aside cost-free!! I similar to discovering websites ones fully grasp the specific need for supplying an individual with a superb understanding resource regarding no price. All of us genuinely dearly cherished evaluating these types of web pages. Enjoy it!

    • Zmidponk
    • January 5th, 2011

    I think this is a perfect lesson in how to sell science to dumb fuckers. Of course, it’s also a good laugh to intelligent fuckers. I refuse to admit which category I fall into.

    • I don’t think theres any real dumb fuckers out there, just people who are knowledge whores, and people who keep their legs of learning firmly shut.

      Me, I’ll take all the knowledge you got and thank you for it.

    • Great e28093 I should deiinftely pronounce, impressed with your website. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related information ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Excellent task.

    • Deacon Razorblades
    • January 5th, 2011

    I imagine a thug-walking white kid in a lab coat spilling this mind candy when I read your blog. Fantastical to say the least. I already love molecular biology and biochemistry, but reading this shit is mind fuckingly glorious. Keep it up, because a lot of people are thinking the same thing I am.

  8. We’re reading your blog and every one of us was like HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS BITCH CAN WRITE. But sadly you haven’t written enough. So can you get your lazy ass out of bed and write a fuckton more about shit we don’t know? And the illustrations. They may us laugh. Best one was the arrow to the nucleus that said “Look at this bitch nucleus cowering in the corner fuck that’s what Id do Id sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up and hope that this mean bitch doesn’t look my way.” That made us squirt like a horse on Lasix.

    When you start with the goats*x we’ll give you an hon. mention.

    • Anonymous
    • January 5th, 2011

    Flammenwerfer werfen Flammen, Arschloch. Und auch, ich liebe Sie und will, dass Sie mein Baby bekommen.

    • Big McLargeHuge
    • January 5th, 2011

    Holy shit. I cannot stop laughing. I really, really hope you keep updating this website because it’s beyond funny.

    • Guybob
    • January 5th, 2011

    “half of them couldnt find their ass with an atlas, both hands and a group of skilled native trackers.”

    Hillarity at it’s best. gahahahahaha.

    • teadoust
    • January 5th, 2011

    i concede: you are indeed a funny motherfucker.

    • El Generalissimo
    • January 5th, 2011

    Somewhere in Europe, Jacques Benveniste is crying himself to sleep.

    • Let him cry. He cannot stop the division of Humor Panzers from leveling his beloved countryside. This is SCIENCE, dammit! Relentless, unstoppable, and merciless, and the DNA Bitch is our Shock Troops of Love.

    • that, permit me rveael to you precisely what did deliver the results. Your authoring is rather persuasive which is possibly the reason why I am making an effort to opine. I do not really make it a regular habit of doing that. Next, whilst I can easily notice the leaps in reason you come up with, I am not really sure of how you seem to connect the ideas which in turn help to make your final result. For the moment I will, no doubt subscribe to your point however hope in the near future you actually connect the facts much better.

    • 20aPurely to follow up on the up-date of this maettr on your web site and wish to let you know simply how much I liked the time you took to create this valuable post. Within the post, you actually spoke of how to definitely handle this problem with all ease. It would be my pleasure to accumulate some more strategies from your web site and come as much as offer other individuals what I have learned from you. I appreciate your usual good effort.

    • Tabs
    • January 5th, 2011

    Awesome work good sir. Well done. You’re just lucky you don’t livee near me or I may have kissed you for this one!

    • Ottery St.Catchpole
    • January 5th, 2011

    You are made of WIN! Blog on!

    • Erica
    • January 5th, 2011

    Brilliant, thank you!

  9. If science had been this much fun in high school, I never would have dropped out! When do we learn about meth?

    • Panda
    • January 5th, 2011

    Great public service announcement!!! My fave is the t cell one!! Keep it going!

  10. Epic work, Dave, well done. πŸ˜€ You certainly deserve all of this attention, FINALLY.


    • whatever
    • January 5th, 2011

    If you’re lucky he might get some illness, disease and/or ADHD like my brother did!

      • Drtaylay
      • January 6th, 2011

      Please tell me you’re not seriously one of those fuckwits that thinks that vaccines cause autism or some bullshit.

      Because I might need to unload a metric shitton of perforin on your ass.

      • I have absolutey no idea how you got there from here, but no, I don’t think vaccines cause autism because I’m not a dribbling fuckwit nor am I getting paid to falsify test results like a certain cretin that got his medical license revoked not too long back

        • Hope
        • January 6th, 2011

        stimulusresponse :
        I have absolutey no idea how you got there from here, but no, I don’t think vaccines cause autism because I’m not a dribbling fuckwit nor am I getting paid to falsify test results like a certain cretin that got his medical license revoked not too long back

        Stimulusresponse, I believe Drtaylay was responding to Whatever, and not to your brilliant work here. πŸ™‚

        Which is made of awesome, and pie. With awesome sauce.

        • Drtaylay
        • January 6th, 2011

        Baby I would never get that from anything you said, we are soulmates, meant to be like a light and heavy chain of an IgG. I was definately talking to whatever!

    • sherlock
    • January 5th, 2011

    I want to share this with my students, but most of them would find it deeply offensive and I’d get fired. (Community College in the Deep South)

      • Vagon
      • January 5th, 2011

      I’d say use your imagination to get it out to them anon style but it wouldnt work bro, the kids are into what ever ripped off power rangers after that shitty show ripped off voltron.

        • sherlock
        • January 6th, 2011

        I’ve got one who is so into anime he can’t stop staring into space, screwing up in lab, and asking questions that tell me he hasn’t listened to a word I just said. I thought he was a dim-witted mouth-breathing moron until he wrote something insightful in complete sentences on an exam…a feat few high school graduates can accomplish these days. I have nothing against anime (don’t know enough about it to be it’s enemy), but I am sure of one thing; it can’t possibly be more interesting than science.

    • wsargent
    • January 5th, 2011


    • ausduck
    • January 5th, 2011

    Thank you for making me laugh so much! I am not only in awe of the shock troops of science but I’m also learning new and interesting uses of language πŸ™‚

    Hell, I may even go and do that science degree – never say fucking never!

    • Chris
    • January 5th, 2011

    Finally, I can get my fifth-graders interested in biology! Classic stuff–favorited for sure.

    • Ian
    • January 5th, 2011

    I love you more than you can imagine.

    • Victoria
    • January 5th, 2011

    FUCK, I’m in love.

    • Leah
    • January 5th, 2011

    I used to run a preschool. If I did, I would put your info about measles in the parent info packet. I swear it.

    • Leah
    • January 5th, 2011

    If I *still* did.

    Honestly, my lack of proof-reading skills is not why I am not there anymore. I moved. Seriously.

  11. I wish I could teach the chillun with this shit!!!!

    • Applebite
    • January 5th, 2011

    Holy fucking shit. I’m currently revising virology for my 2nd year exams at uni and I swear I just learnt more off this page than I have from a semester’s worth of notes.

    I’m going to make a suggestion to my lecturers to make the handouts more like this.

    “SWEET MAGIC TAMPON!” << Bet phrase ever.

    • Good luck with your exams!

    • Virtually all of the things you aicrtulate is supprisingly appropriate and that makes me wonder why I had not looked at this with this light before. This particular piece truly did switch the light on for me as far as this particular subject goes. However there is just one position I am not necessarily too cozy with so whilst I attempt to reconcile that with the main theme of your point, permit me see what the rest of your subscribers have to point out.Nicely done.

  12. I may have already said this, but I think you’re a fucking genious. 4 Real.

    • Ryan
    • January 6th, 2011

    This bat-shit is off tha motha fuckin dna chain, bitch! Keep makin this shit like a boss.

    • grrrlgeek
    • January 6th, 2011

    I posted this on FB and some fucking whiny ass medical conspiracy ant-vax cunt fucking flounced from my profile. Flounce=post a farewell before defriending/blocking. She actually blocked me and apparently tried to get others to do the same. They told her to get fucked.


  1. January 5th, 2011
  2. January 6th, 2011
    Trackback from : Top Posts — WordPress.com

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